whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
