I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
