Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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