If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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