Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
