another moral hangover. fuck.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
