i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
