You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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