I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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