I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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