Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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