my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
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