Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Randomize
