i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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