So drunk its hurt
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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