even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
