I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
