i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
