she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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