Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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