I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We got so high we made milksteak
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
