Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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