do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
