Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
