Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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