If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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