she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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