Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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