thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
