Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
