I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
