I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
