So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
