Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
