I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
