Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
This is classic penis vs brain.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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