my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
