I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
