Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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