didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
