So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
