yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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