Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
