Quick, to the slutcave!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize