This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
