Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
