when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
