They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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