I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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