ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
