One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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